I grew unhappy with being forced into a numbers race, of trying to be consumable for a mass public and killing parts of me that turned out to be fundamental to my own identity and happiness.
Alright, that sounds pretty pretentious, but that's really what it boils down to. External feedback can be a lot of information to deal with. It is not that I do not value praise, criticism, or anything in between...but I think it is something that can be overwhelming, particularly in the capacity which social media brings. I think most people have the best intentions in mind, and want to try make social media a more humane and ethical experience, yet I cannot help but feel that a part of me is nevertheless taken away and devoured in a manner that I cannot abide by when it is done in these commodified, sterilized spaces.
Although I draw many kinds of things that range from incredibly silly to quietly thoughtful, there is always a genuine reason why I take these pieces to completion: whether it is to explore or exorcise a feeling within me, to exercise or challenge myself in a new way, or to simply make myself laugh. And perhaps that is what also alienates me from social media, which thrives on many things I don't particularly value.
While I acknowledge that there will always be outside feedback as long as I share my work in a public platform, ultimately, my personal work must be for me, or there is no point making it at all. And that is why I would like for my work to be able to live on such a site like this, rather than only on platforms that boil us down into numbers. I feel that having a personal website is an invitation for people to engage with my work in a way that is non-performative or forced.
My goal as a creative, and as a person at all, is to experience as much of the world as I can in my own way, on my own time, before regurgitating something back in return. It is important to me then, that my work, as an extention of myself, can exist in a similar manner.
<< RETURN"THERE IS NO REALITY EXCEPT THE ONE CONTAINED WITHIN US. THAT IS WHY SO MANY PEOPLE LIVE SUCH AN UNREAL LIFE. THEY TAKE THE IMAGES OUTSIDE OF THEM FOR REALITY AND NEVER ALLOW THE WORLD WITHIN TO ASSERT ITSELF." - HERMANN HESSE